Sunrise

 



Summer So Far

 

 

It's gonna be a good one.

 

K see ya.



Old Sport...

 

Old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport, old sport

 

 

"I couldn't argue with him, the picture was obviously authentic!" - Nick Carraway

 

Also, where'd the baby go?

 

 

 

 

If you haven't noticed, I wouldn't recommend seeing The Great Gatsby. Unless you're into hearing "Old sport" past the point of making a point, and just enough that you laugh incredibly hard every time he says it.



Mortimer's Monday Musings: #27

 

 

 

My mom told me Ouija boards are not the business.

 

Speaking of my mom, she's most definitely my muse today.

and every day.

 

Happy birthday, Mother's Day, and anniversary to this little lady right here.

 

I love you so much, momma.

 

I hate that I'm always late, but love that it makes me think I'm turning into you.

I love that when I was little and asked you to sing to me, you would always sing My Heavenly Father Loves Me. "He gave me my eyes, that I might see, the color of butterfly wings."

I still always hear it sung in your voice when I am stressed or sad.

I love your back scratches. Best thing of my life.

I love that you used to let us stay up later if we volunteered to massage your feet or scratch your back. YOU SNEAKY MOM.

I'm glad you never stifled my weirdness. You seriously NEVER told me that I shouldn't be so weird. You let it happen, and I think that's the best thing a mom could ever do. Unless it's serial killer weird, because that should probably be stifled.

You let me make mistakes.

You dealt with me throwing snails against walls and pushing Morgan down the stairs in my free time.

You were always friends with all of my friends, and I think that's awesome.

You let us all find our faith on our own. You didn't force anything. And because of that, I feel like my testimony is my own and is stronger than ever. Thank you so much.

You help me with my disease.

You never gave me a curfew.

You had to deal with gossip and people that put you in situations you never should have had to deal with, but you handled it all with grace. And I thank you so much for that.

Because I saw your example, and so did many other people. We see your example, momma.

You pray for me. For all of us. Even if it's hard sometimes - when we ask, you do.

And I know you do when we don't ask, too.

You have a relationship with Heavenly Father and you know He loves you and knows your heart.

You gave me my empathetic tendencies. Thank you.

You taught me that things get better, even when they seem like they won't.

You pulled through.

I love you so much.

I am so glad you met Russ-O, and I'm even more glad that Riley and Tyler have the chance to have you as a mom. Those kids don't know how lucky they are - but they will one day.

Sorry it took me so long to realize.

But boy, do I realize now.

You're the best, MAHM. I LOVE YOU ALL KINDS.

 

K see ya.

 



What Could Have Been

 

It’s laundry day for Bret Mortimer.

Which means the ASU shirt gets to see the light of day.

You see, while I’m washing the clothes I actually wear, the ASU shirt gets a chance to be worn.

Otherwise, it’s back to the drawer for you, you piece of potential path.

Potential path? Whaaa?

Well, if you don’t know me, I suppose I should explain a little.

Third grade I started playing water polo. My love for it never stopped. I played until my senior year of high school in which I visited Arizona State University and deemed it the place for me. There were a lot of Mormons in Tempe and I would be able to play water polo for a PAC 12 school? PERFECT.

Until my dad lost his job. And we realized I would have to go into extreme loads of debt to be able to afford what my academic scholarship wouldn’t cover.

So, I set off for Utah instead. UVU for a semester, then by a miracle I was accepted into BYU for Winter  2012.

But, the bitter feelings I felt were not sorted out as easily.
In fact, I still have a few grudges here and there. The ASU shirt, for example. Won’t wear it in public. I’m embarrassed. And I’m dumb for being embarrassed, but nonetheless… feelings still linger.

Until today.

Why should I let my life’s could-have-been situations rule my mind?

There are millions of events that play out every day with even more directions in which they could go!
Little things, like when I do something or what shoes I wear or what grocery store I go to or where I fill up my car or loasijfowja fdsja;oijw awoj a.

Do you see what I mean?

But Bret, those are obviously trivial things.

Listen here, fellas. I’m talkin’ big events, too.

I’m going to be real honest here, so don’t be frightened. Mostly I’m being this way so that when I feel down I can come back and read my thoughts.

Here it goes. Here are a few big events or situations I go to battle with myself on daily (or weekly, when it comes time to do the laundry) :

1.       If you were skinnier, you could go to L.A. and sign with an agency that will get you somewhere.

  I’ve battled myself on this one for a long, long time. And honestly, doing unhealthy things to lose weight to obtain that model thinness is ALWAYS going to be in the back of my mind. I know it’s wrong, and I know I should never treat my body in such a way – heck, I’ve been learning to treat my body like a temple since I was in kindergarten and knew what a body even was. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is a way Satan tries to tempt me. And I know that he tempts me in this way because I have a body, and he does not. This is something I know to be true, and it's the reason it’s so hard to deal with temptations that are bodily related.

  Often times when I am tempted, I know that it’s wrong and I’m aware I’m being tempted. I have the choice to give in or not. It is very black and white, and when I enter a grey area, I should run. Literally, sometimes I have to get myself up and run out of the room or something. If that’s what it takes to get my mind off of something, I’ll do it. Running (figuratively or literally) from temptation and bad thoughts that I know are detrimental is something I’ve found works for me.

  Perhaps, even though I work out regularly and try to eat right, I’m not model-thin because Heavenly Father knows that it’d be too hard for me to keep my standards straight in that business. Or perhaps because He knows that while the glamour of that job is high, the lifestyle is not. Or perhaps it’s just that He has something else in mind for me. There are so many could-have-been situations with this one - but if I focus on what could happen if I was a model, then what kind of a life am I living now?

 

2.       If you had gone to ASU, you would have only had one year of huge debt to work off or If you had gone to Long Beach, you could have had a half ride your freshmen year or If you had transferred to a different college after UVU, you could still be playing water polo.

 

So my lifelong dream of playing collegiate water polo didn’t come true. All of those years of practice, sweat, blood, chlorine induced tears and heart put in and for what? Well, I’ll tell you what. So I don’t play games to prove my determination anymore, but I do drive those extra miles to pick up that friend. So I don’t lead a team to victory via killer backhand, but I do (or did) lead a dang fun FHE group. I no longer shake the hands of my opponents of a tough match, but I do shake the hands of those who give me new, valuable insight after a class I almost didn’t go to; or the hands of those who honestly offer their testimonies to me that I would not have heard had I been anywhere else.
If I’m stuck in the past, and if I constantly daydream about where I could be right now if I was still playing, I will never get out of life the things God placed me in this exact path to obtain. I HAVE to accept the fact that His plan is better than mine in every way – better for me, and better for those I come into contact with. And I’m so grateful I’ve had the chance to follow where He has led me so far. It has taken a lot out of me, it has… but I am going where He wants me to go. And with that, I know I’m going the right way.

 

3.       You clicked so well. He’s successful. He made you laugh. And yes, this one is vague. DEAL WITH IT.

 

Why yes, Bret’s mind, all of these things are true. But sometimes, you’ve got to experience these kinds of decisions. The ones in which you’ll be okay either way, but you’ll obviously be missing out on some things either way as well. And instead of thinking of the things you’re missing out on, think of the things you’re getting to do. See, you’re okay. It’s just a different kind of okay.

 

As I said, just a few things my mind likes to delve into the could-have-been reasoning with.

 And you know what? It’s not worth it to try to argue.

My mind will always play these situations over like records in my head,
but remembering the positives will keep me sane.

I am where He wants me to be, which means that I am exactly where I need to be.

We all have could-have-been situations. We all could be someone drastically different from who we are right now. Dwelling on the past won’t do anything.
If you don’t like where you are and want to change, you can decide to change right now.
But dwelling on my past mistakes only makes me negative.
This life is one of hope. We have the opportunity to look back, and I’m thankful for that opportunity because I learn so much about myself each time I do.
But when I dwell there - I limit the opportunities I’ve been given now.

So here’s to looking forward.

To things, to people, to situations, and to struggles. All new.

And here’s to those I’ve met along the way. I’m thankful for every single one of you.

P.S.
I put on a bra to take the picture in the ASU shirt
You're welcome