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Thursday, April 17, 2014


I think that when others recognize our potential and encourage us throughout whatever process it is we're enduring,
we are happier, because we feel loved.
And I realize it's the same when it comes to God. Except, the love we feel from Him
is incomprehensible.
Because the love is there regardless of how we do.
And because He sees us as no one else can.
Our potential - divine potential - can you imagine what He sees in us?
"Your Heavenly Father loves you -- each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities.
It is simply there.
It is there for you when you are sad or happy,
discouraged or hopeful.
God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love.
It is simply always there."
K see ya.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

You Get What You Put Into It

all of which require caps lock
sense my excitement, please
K see ya.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014


Hey Chad.

   It's been a while, but not too long. Morgan and I celebrated your birthday on Feb. 14th. Brown, forest green, and that one purple balloon I'm sure you've come to know all floated your way that cold day. It was nice to be able to remember you with Morgan. We didn't even talk much, we just felt. We felt your absence, your influence on us, and how much you've missed - although we both know you're still looking out for us.
  It's not the same, but I will take it. I wish it wasn't this way, but I'll take it.
  Stupid Myspace revamped its style (its about time, huh?) so when I tried to look back on our past conversations, they were gone. Never gonna be wiped from my memory, though. The music you shared with me are either on the CDs you gave me, or on CDs I made that were essentially all you. Thank you for introducing Morgan and me to the music that moves our souls.
  Perhaps that's why today hasn't been incredibly terrible - yes, Chad. I miss you. Still think of you as an older brother. I know Morgan does, too. But this day always motivates me to reignite the creativity you saw in me, the listening ear you found in me - it motivates me to return to the better parts of me life so easily smears away.
  Midterms, busy work, and finals make it hard to find new music that rocks me. Friends that don't know the words or listen to similar sounds make me self conscious so I switch the track..

  No more of that.

  We knew what music meant to us. It was how we communicated. Are you waiting for me to find some new tunes for you? Because I will. I'm going to. I love to do it, I've forgotten how much I love to share music with you, Chad.
  I don't want to forget things like this, but I am, and it hurts. I don't want to forget you, I don't want to forget the influence you had on me, and I don't want to forget how you influenced me.

Chad, I wish you knew how important you were then. I'm sure you know now, but goodness, Chad. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Every year I begin to think of friends that may be in the same spot you were. One is coming to mind distinctly, but I can't get a hold of him. I don't know what to do, Chad.

Does my spirit still move waves? How do I get back to that?
I wish I could still look to you for advice. A call on a Sunday night, a pep talk here and there for the both of us. We both meant the hope we promised. We both wanted the best for each other. That's why you were like my brother, Chad.

I told you Morgan was having a hard time. You called him the minute you got off the phone with me.
Something changed for him after that phone call. I never got to thank you for that.

I'm rambling, but it's helping.
Just know you are missed, you are loved forever, and I am beyond excited to see you again.

I love you like a brother, Chadderbox.

"I think your spirit moves waves."

Monday, April 14, 2014

Mortimer's Monday Musings: #56

sunshine teasin' me
I'll take what I can get
can't help but be happy
Miss this state, miss those people, but I carry those times with me.
I carry it all in me.
I feel grateful, despite circumstances that make me a bit nervous.
I'm grateful to experience these strange times.
Growth. Grow in uncomfortable soil.
That's what Spring is all about, anyway, right?
K see ya.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Mortimer's Monday Musings: #55 / Always.

“'And it came to pass that Satan cried with a loud voice, with weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth; and he departed hence,' always to come again, we can be sure, but always to be defeated by the God of glory—always."
"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."
-Elder Holland
I'm sorry if I frightened anyone with the darkness in my last post, but I think it's important to show the honesty in moments like that. Moments where you can't seem to find much light, despite it being all around you.
This weekend has shown me how important it is that I turn to God instead of away from Him in these moments.
And how easy it is for Satan to make me second guess myself..
well, not myself, but answers I've been given through prayer.
How real he is and how he knows exactly how to bring me down.
But I won't let him. Do not let him.
I promise you, things will make sense if you just stick it out. I promise you anything.
Keep your confidence. Keep your faith.
It's your choice to keep your light, the Light, when you're faced with darkness.
K see ya.